My Purpose in Life

I am thankful for this year, For this 2014 experience had been a real revelation of my purpose in life.

"Purpose" as I would say since I have been really searching of how my life should be lived and to whom my life should be shared with.

As the song goes:

Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops

What if your healing comes through tears

And what if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know you're near

What if my greatest disappointments

Or the aching of this life

Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy

And what if trials of this life

The rain, the storms, the hardest nights

Are your mercies in disguise

Last April 18, 2014, My mom passed away without any symptoms. She was diagnosed with terminal cancer called intra hepatic  cholangocarcinoma. We rushed her to the hospital April 13, 2014 for stomachache.

Just a little background of my family, I first met my mom when I was in fourth year high school. My friends were the ones who took the initiative to look for my mom, since they wanted her to be proud of me being an honor student. My parents separated when I was still one year old. I am the eldest amongst seven siblings ( with same mom but different dads).

As the eldest, I was obliged to be the one to decide if we will intubate mom after being diagnosed with cancer or we will just let her go. That was indeed  a tough decision to make but I have learned to be selfless and let her go instead of us prolonging her agony. It is better to see her go painless than seeing her in that condition.

After her death, I realized that as the eldest child, my purpose is to take care of my siblings, to guide them and be there for them to pat their shoulders and to tell them it is okay.We have to move on.

I am thankful for the experience since it  made me realized what my purpose in life is for. Though it was a tragedy and disappointment for us but it was turned into a blessing. It brought us (siblings) closer together and made me realize that my family is the most important gift God has given me.